the fire within has a language of its own

I just spilled over the edge of who I held myself to be,

again.

Now, it doesn’t matter what I think.

again.

I stopped ignoring what I didn’t like to do and realized I had changed,

again.

I was googling me from the inside.

The knife wanted to cut.

I let it feel like cutting.

But I couldn’t cut what I loved any longer

His (this) skin is too thin

His (this) heart too tender

His (this) love too wild and true.

So I put down the knife

and used my hand.

My hands love the body of life

My hands love to support the body of life

My hands love to bring oil to the dry places

And they needed no imagery to do so.

I feel like I just climbed Mount Everest

I am nearly breathless

The air quality here is pure

And I am loosened by the only means I have at my fingertips:

Touch.

I had to get closer 

to feel the touch of myself,

for direct contact with me.

My fingertips and the palm of my hand felt the paint moving with me

Gliding, scratching, slower and more slowly

I listened to the feel of it

this pulse of my life

Living.

Sensual.

Free of the rules I had mistaken for truth

I was listening

and became silent

being the silence

for one pulse.

and another.

Saturated

Red

Permanent rose

Flaming cadmium yellow engulfed a red birch

The black charred trunk remains

Able to hold the glow 

Of the fire that burns in me

Of the fire that moves me out of the old rooms of this house.

All I want to do is follow this thread

It has a language of my own making.

It is in my hands.

the artist's statement

I have always preferred to work in oil.
I am a simple painter and an actively deep muser.
I keep my method and tools simple to alleviate noise as I plumb the depths of my creative process, following the ever changing thread of color.
Intuition leads my paintings into form.
It is my nature to listen and to be led from within.


For the past 15 years I have worked with the painting knife; a simple tool that enables me to express through many layers of color and have the color remain clean and pure.
I scribe into the layers when I find myself in that space beyond words but still drawn to make a point.
There is always this urge to express.
The surface holds my love of color and my joy for the sensual and palpable richness of the paint.


After many years of full spectrum plein air painting, my interest in the painting by and for itself developed and I was drawn back into the studio. I am following my muse ever deeper into my inner process. The process of self expression is my primary interest though the paintings continue to hold reference to the nature of the landscape that surrounds me.
In the larger floral pieces I am working on now, I am using the brush and the knife, as the softening of the liquid oil was necessary to bring this petaled blooming more fully into palpable form.
I am softening and my medium is flowing in response to my own awakening in the body of a woman.

notes from the dark moon

notes from the Dark Moon

just follow the simple directions
leave the Beauty to me.

you are wearing yourself out
doing a job that has been
done.

bring your Desire forward
and I will create with it.