Thursday, July 11, 2013

taking out the trash

While taking out some trash this afternoon
I observed how quiet it was outside.
In the ordinariness of this action 
I became very aware of myself as silence
 in relation to Nature. 
even when sounds arise from her, she feels silent.

the thought crossed my mind,

what if I really practiced being here
without creating more noise in my head 
or believing the drama that continues to find form there, 
through my believing in and perhaps even needing it, 
just to avoid this silence?

the drama inside my head
has a way of spilling down into my body
somehow enticing nerve endings to believe there is something exciting happening
which sends this message back to brain
and brain tells me I have a life, a dramatic, exciting one!

I am giving myself a little bit of a hard time, pulling my leg a bit.
I love symbols, I love interpretations, I love creative life. 
and I love the drama of the contrasts.

But to watch, 
to listen
 with a bit less need for the drama?
Is this possible?
I'm game.

even this game has an allure to it....
but really, I am curious.
it is a practical experiment with inner silence.

Can I observe the effort to create drama and let it go?
Can I be alone 
in this pulsing life 
without making more of myself than is real and authentic?

How will I know what is  real?
I am fascinated already.

Oh, I feel Her pulling me in again..............

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